Ever since Wednesday things got better. Mostly. I had another breakdown yesterday, but quickly recovered. Sleep always does this magic thing, plus I had great people with me.
My problem is that I get super easily hung up on small things. Once it sets the ball rolling it's very hard not to find more unnerving stuff and they all just add to my sometimes so miserable existence.
Today I met up with someone after university. It wasn't a date, it was kinda just seeing if we were enjoying conversations as much in person as we did in text. Turns out we are. I'm far from any kinda serious feelings as we've only been talking for like three days, but it felt good to have someone who makes you laugh this much. I pretty much cracked up at every single thing he said, often even when he didn't say anything. Just super comfortable. Usually it takes me much longer to reveal this super silly side to people. It has both potential for a strengthening friendship and/or a relationship, hard to nail down which it's gonna be as of right now.
Sometimes I still feel as if me getting into a new relationship with actual physical contact (not just far distance stuff) is treason. I know how silly that is and I have no idea why this song is making me cry, but those thoughts sometimes just take over. Forgive me for my recent weaknesses. I'm stronger than this, I know. Thank you for reading, checking on me and maybe even caring. As soon as lectures start (tomorrow!) this'll end. I just finally need some routine in my life.
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