#53: Level of stress > 9000

Easter vacation were so relaxing~! A time during which I enjoyed being lazy and doing nothing at all. In other words, I watched YouTube all day (sadly I mean it in a literal way) and stuffed myself with my Easter chocolate. I've been wanting to catch up with my whole subscription box, but as I couldn't scroll down 2 months of YouTube time, I decided on just catching up with the gameplays of my favourite YouTuber.
I also got a unicorn shirt from Übertee, a subsidiary of Qwertee. Its print is The Last Unicorn, a very important memory of my childhood, so I couldn't keep myself from buying this wonderful shirt.

After Easter, a short wave of panic overcame me. I decided on doing a little research on Australian universities since I wanted to go there; The requirements almost made me cry. Not because they were impossible to meet, no. It was because of the English proficiency test I had to take. Obviously TOEFL was the best choice and taking it on C1 should be pretty easy, especially since I only had to pass with a B, but fuck my life is that shit expensive. 245$ for that test. Despite my optimism about passing, it's such a scarily high number. If I didn't pass, the money'd be wasted.

Even if I passed, I still needed money for the flight and for a lot of other different expenses this life would cost me.

The next morning, all the trouble seemed to be unimportant and I was pretty calm about things. Sure, it was still necessary for me to get a job, but that is and will only be a little hurdle in my life. I achieved far greater things so far.

Enough about the future, what about the present? It's now my last week of school. It's a usual custom for local students of my grade to have a themed week. Everyday has a different topic and we dress up differently during each day and go to school like that. Yesterday's theme was "First Day Of School", means we all dressed up like first graders in elementary school. Of course people kept staring at me like I was some kind of weirdo while I walked to school. Me with my satchel.

Tomorrow's theme is "Rich and Poor" in a special localized theme. You gotta imagine that here people who don't earn enough/are unemployed receive money from the government. That package of money has a certain name and that's our "poor". So, I'm gonna dress up like a bitch with make-up like I fell into the make-up case of my mother. I'm so excited, nobody's gonna expect me to look like that. It's going to be especially funny if I walk into Math class in the morning as the last person like usual. All eyes on me, bitches! lol joke I'm actually avoiding people taking photos of me because I'm afraid of getting published somewhere online.

After that week, final exams start. I'm pretty optimistic about the exams in English and my native language, however, Biology and Geography might become a problem. Studying might do the trick though... In case I overcome my laziness and procrastination~

So yeah, the headline for the blog was irony. I'm too relaxed to stress out now. I have no idea where this relaxation is coming from, but I dig it. Might be my grave though! Get it? Dig my own grave? Ahahahahahaha I suck.

There are actually more interesting stories about my life, such as a certain date I had last Saturday, but for now I prefer not recalling it. It was a first and very spontaneous date, so there was absolutely no romance included. Pretty formal, yet awkward as fuck because of my personality. Working on it though. Or not.

If it comes to love, I'm going with fate, as I'm supposed to.

#45: Post for the second straight day

It's amazing, isn't it? I don't even know how and why I'm on a run like this, but I'll just go with it. Feels hella good to be back with only me and the English language.
After having posted yesterday, I went to my YouTube channel and changed my header, as well as my Google+ one. I still don't use Google+ much, but as for my Android phone, I do like the functions. I can't really complain.
Besides that, I haven't really been doing anything today besides watching YouTube videos. I haven't been watching for about three weeks, and when you're subscribed to 108 fucking channels you have a lot to catch up. Especially since Cry's videos are 30 minutes and longer each, his direct imports from his streams almost two hours each. Not kidding, during this week I spent at least 20 hours watching YouTube videos.
Yes, I should be doing other stuff. But this popcorn? It's just too good and I'm actually too tired to do anything else.
It's not like I was this lazy all day. I actually accompanied my mum to grocery shopping today and got some Valentine's Day gifts for a person I admire. I know that person had some hard times in the past, so since I'll be meeting her on a convention, I want to make her a little happier. As weird as it sounds, friends and family won't be getting anything, just that one person. She's not my love interest though. So yeah, that's something I'm looking forward to next week! ❤

#44: I'm still alive and breathing!

Wow, my last post on here was more than a year ago, shortly after I returned from Japan. I actually had three sentences in a draft for a new post written in November last year, but I never got around to publish it. For the better though. I can summarize all of 2014 by saying I had ups and downs the entire time. Like seriously. Started seeing a psychologist, was about to finish therapy in December, but got worse again and now I'm just feeling so very happy again. This is life pretty much.

I also apologize in advantage for this rambling blog. This post is mainly for cheering myself up, so it's gonna be a lot of cheesy cheering lines.

The reason I'm picking up my blog again is because I know it would help me in many ways. One is of course to keep writing, a thing I loved to do more than anything. I have no idea why I ever stopped, especially in English, since that's my favourite language out of the four I'm able to speak. Second reason is it being something like a diary, and diaries are good in so many ways. You can get stuff of your chest without directly talking to someone. Of course my blog being so publicly visible might be a disadvantage, but it's not like I intend on hiding my feelings. If anyone is reading my blog, he or she has probably seen my Twitter anyway. Since mini blogs are easier to write (140 letter limit), that's where I really update regularly. Even post links to new blog entries will be posted there, in case I will ever post one again after this. ψ(｀∇´)ψ

Well, what have I been up to? The only things I've really been doing regularly are playing Love Live and watching YouTube. It's kinda sad how my hobbies, which used to be really broad, have reduced this much. Because of that I've had depressions as well, since I felt like I became a boring plain Jane with no hobbies. I'm not stressed out about it anymore, I came to terms with it. I mean, after all, it's kinda motivating. The journey to find my place in this world is still ongoing and honestly, it's just so exciting. It's not like I can just blend out the negative things, but when those happen, I know that I will be happy soon after. And I mean, two days ago an amazing thing happened to me. If one of those negative things before hadn't happened, I'd never have been in this position. Life is good right now! Then again, I'm on vacation. I don't want to go to schoooooool!

Gosh, I really need to get used to this again first, urgh. Oh well, ending this post with love. Cheers!

❤～(´ε｀*)