One thing I just don't understand about it is... Why did we evolve to be social entities, when yet some of us are most comfortable being alone and isolated?
Take me for example. I consider myself an introvert, drawing most of my energy from not being in crowded places and instead spending some quality time at home. On the other side, I enjoy going to concerts (for the music and the bands though, not the people obviously) and feel super lonely and get all depressed when I'm without any social contact for too long. And I know that I'm not the only one with this problem. Just earlier this day my significant other mentioned that he was feeling lonely. It's the same feeling I get from time to time: The sudden realization that - besides each other - we genuinely don't have anyone else we can share our deepest secrets with. No people that bond with us on a deeper level other than hanging out from time to time and talking about superficial stuff like fandoms, university and whatsoever.
Of course I'm being encouraged by him that we'll soon find friends, hopefully even together. As much as I appreciate it, it's also putting this pressure on me. When I think of possible situations, I can't help but panic. I shut down instantly and start seeing things through a very pessimistic perspective. I'll never be able to find new friends or I'll never get myself together and talk to people in real life. There's this feeling in my stomach that's holding me back. I actually feel physically uncomfortable. Want an example? Today in my language course class we had to play this silly bingo game. It had fields that said things like "[...] can run 20 km" or "[...] can speak French". We were supposed to go around in class and ask everyone what they could do until we got a bingo. The mere thought of it made me feel so sick, that I couldn't help but sit down and refuse to do this kind of task.I just couldn't.
I don't know when all of this started or what it even isanxiety?, but it's kinda blocking me off from making new real life contacts myself. I don't want to wait for other people to talk to me though that would be best as it is definitely less scary. I want to have an even better (social) life. Not just me, but for my partner as well.
Of course I'm being encouraged by him that we'll soon find friends, hopefully even together. As much as I appreciate it, it's also putting this pressure on me. When I think of possible situations, I can't help but panic. I shut down instantly and start seeing things through a very pessimistic perspective. I'll never be able to find new friends or I'll never get myself together and talk to people in real life. There's this feeling in my stomach that's holding me back. I actually feel physically uncomfortable. Want an example? Today in my language course class we had to play this silly bingo game. It had fields that said things like "[...] can run 20 km" or "[...] can speak French". We were supposed to go around in class and ask everyone what they could do until we got a bingo. The mere thought of it made me feel so sick, that I couldn't help but sit down and refuse to do this kind of task.I just couldn't.
I don't know when all of this started or what it even is
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