#60: A weekly routine

Happy New Year and all!
Since my last post in November I kinda got into a certain schedule. One that's the same every week. Having a routine like that helps securing my happiness. Knowing where I have to be, what's up next even in my free time - simply the knowledge that there's a place I have. (No, the journey to find my self is still ongoing.) Looking back at my first months here in this new environment it's clear that this is exactly what I needed.

While I have university Monday to Friday, my weekend is fairly free and I pretty much spent it with lots of sleeping, eating, binge watching shows (Finished Season 3 of Orange is the new Black last weekend. Great show, despite being so hyped and mainstream! Recently I started Prison Break... Notice a certain pattern?) and cuddling. When I get home on Sunday evenings I'm usually pretty exhausted despite the relaxed weekend. Anyone know this feeling? During my free periods in university I usually have lunch and/or wash the laundry. Depending on the amount I do it twice a week. (Not eating, of course! I do that three times a day, duh. Unless I oversleep. Like I did last Friday. First time in forever...) Monday's also my grocery shopping day. If necessary, I go to the stores on other days, but usually I plan the food menu for the entire week and buy all I need.

You may have expected more than this, but this is honestly all I do during the week. Sure, I have free time and it's not like I do nothing, but after having a long and exhausting day of university just lying down and watching stuff is so relaxing. Thursday and Friday are my shortest days, so if I go out, it's then. The other week I went to the show of my favourite comedian on a Thursday evening and it was so fantastic that I bought two tickets for another show in May. Next time I'll be going with someone else though so I can insider joke about everything. Yes, I can laugh about the same jokes twice, otherwise I wouldn't be going again ahaha What I also sometimes do in my free time is going to the shopping mall to buy yet another skirt or manga, karaoke or even the emergency because I randomly got a middle finger contusion. Fun times. Can't even play Dragon Nest or check out Blade and Soul due to my bandaged middle finger. I mean, WASD is impossible when the touch hurts. (It works like that, right?) At least I'm able to play mobile games. Currently I'm playing Unison League, メルティメイデン, Dream Girlfriend, ホストのアブナイ世界 and Happy Pet Story. Now you may have noticed that Love Live! isn't noted despite me formerly writing about it in every blog post. But, the fact that I stopped playing is quite involuntarily. After not having played for a while I wanted to pick it up again - an in-game notification said, I wouldn't be able to play unless I updated the game via iPad. However, going there, there was no possible update to be found. That's when I knew I wouldn't be able to play again... Because I used to play Love Live! on my iPad... First generation, doesn't go beyond iOs 5.1.1., update required a higher iOs. I didn't even get the chance to get an account transfer code thingy, so even if I played in my phone, I would have to restart. Since I don't want to degrade from a tablet to a phone screen though, it's just not going to happen. Goodbye, beloved waifus and hello Love Live! free but not love free life.

#49: Being in my element: Fangirling and shopping

God. Fucking. Dammit.
Had my whole doctor visit stuff typed out and meant to post it before this other convention I went to took place, but apparently that never happened, After that much stuff happened that I can barely keep up, especially now that I suddenly have the urge to post.
Yes, I am procrastinating although I should be learning for an important Biology test tomorrow, and yes, I blame you, stupid bank clerk. You know who I'm talking about. Stalker. Then again, it's my fault since I rubbed the fact that I'd write about you in your face urgh. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.

Soooo, why the break of one month?
As I mentioned before, I was being sick. That almost stole two weeks of my time, followed by trying to catch up with school stuff (I gave up in the end) and actually enjoying doing school work. My free time mainly consisted of shopping on Qwertee, where I got these new tees,

playing Love Live (asdfghjkl I need the SR Kotori of this event, she's so cute, my lovely waifu ; 3 ;), and going to conventions, as I hinted in my not-so-smooth introduction paragraph. That's what I've been dying to blog about for the past week. However... This report requires a little bit of a back story. So let's rewind.

After my last convention I was desperately trying to find that Deadpool cosplayer again. Every hour I kept checking this website where local people would (hopefully) upload their galleries of photos taken there. A photo of "my" Deadpool was actually posted there, but nobody linked him(self) on that photo, so that was a dead end (just checked, still no link). That's why I had the idea to search for Deadpool cosplays on the very same page. There were a few guys, but really only one whose face seemed somehow similar to the one in my memories or who I hoped it to be. However, he had a Sheriff Deadpool cosplay, so I didn't get my hopes up. You know where this is going, right, clerk?

Then the time for the convention had come. Hoping to meet the dude again, I again dressed up with the hoody (OMG THERE WAS THIS ONE GUY WITH A GIRLFRIEND WHO WORE THE EXACT SAME HOODY PLUS T-SHIRT), not knowing it would summon other evil spirits. My brother didn't come with me by the way, instead my mum and best friend accompanied me. As every year, the book fair slash convention was packed and the later it got, the more crowded it got as well.

I have no idea what time it was, but at some point we decided to meet up with my mum again to pick up some cadged cash. Therefore, we left the hall where the comic/manga section was in and ended up in a passable glass hall where the cosplayers were pretty much relaxing most of the time.

Suddenly something struck my head. I didn't know what was happening until I turned around and saw that Deadpool cosplayer standing there. A sheriff one.

He waved in a friendly way at me, holding a sword in his other hand. That's what he hit me with, I realized, and perplexedly waved back.

Not knowing what else to do, I kept on walking.

Yep, it was just as awkward as the other meeting before.

But holy crap, a Deadpool Sheriff?! It was the same guy I had my eyes on before!

Bla bla bla, I bought more manga since I couldn't decide on which Deadpool comic to start with, feet hurt, returned home in the train.

What I actually bought (= I also grabbed a lot of free stuff, such as stickers, pins/buttons, bookmarks, posters...):

One week later, I had eventually managed to message that cosplayer on that website where he had his cosplay uploaded. He did remember hitting me and that got us into talking (nonstop ever since then kinda).

Fangirling aside, before anyone gets their hope up like I did, the guy's happily taken, and that's awesome, I'm happy for him that he's able to work out his far distance relationship unlike I did. Good luck for you in the future as well, you two :3 #IShiptIt

Now there's a whole month left before it's my last day of school (one week of that being Easter vacation). After that, final exams start as well as my concert/convention time. Again.

Not sure how much more I'm gonna post because of those, but oh well, if I need to vent, and even if it's fangirling shit, it'll be here. Or Twitter. Yep, probably Twitter.

Now excuse me while I delete some embarrassing tweets and try to study for Biology. Evolution theories need me more than my non-existent blog readers do.

Au revoir, messieurs.

#48: Between school and headaches

Lately my spine has been doing worse again. Not to mention that I haven't been to sport for seniors rehabilitation sports for the past two weeks, simply because I either forgot or was too tired to go. To cut a long story short, my spine (which contains the central nervous system) is in a false posture, which in return causes bad headaches. Ibuprofen doesn't help as much as I wish it did, taking naps does rarely help, so I always have to wait until my night time's sleep to make it go away - until it comes back the next day, since sleeping of course doesn't cure my false posture.
For different reasons, one of them being procrastination, I haven't been sleeping much either lately. So when I come home from school, be it 16 o'clock or earlier, I would take naps until dinner. Naturally I wake up even sleepier and as the evening advances, I wake up. It's a doom loop.
School is also a thing. I'm really only doing the school work I'm supposed to do for the next day. That's an attitude that's making my life really hard and I'm not proud of that, but it's just so hard to change. I bet my Master-chan can relate, he he.
Mentioning her, she's one of the few people I regularly exchange letters with. Penpaling is a thing that's dear to me and it's the only thing that ever makes me go into town voluntarily: Because that's where the post office is. I would always be so happy when I find a letter or package on my bed after getting home from school. Nowadays most stuff I receive is from online shopping though, especially a website called Qwertee. They have so cute and geek-ish shirts sometimes, that I just buy them. They're cheap, too, and since the ship from Ireland, the shipping costs and time is so cheap and fast that I can't complain. Pictures about my ordered shirts are on my Twitter by the way. As soon as my random shirts arrive, pictures will be here though~
Shameless advertising over. Just kidding. Everyone who has a tablet should play Love Live already!!
*creeps back into bed and plays Love Live till death*
Haaaah, my waifus... ❤

#46: One of those days

It's one of those days where I keep pushing away the people I love most because I'm not feeling well.
To be fair, a reason why I'm not feeling well in the first place is a person I love. After the first week of calling every day for hours, somehow the contact slowed down. We wouldn't talk for more than 24 hours because that person was busy, sleeping... All kinda things. But in the end, it's for the better. I almost gave up my dreams just for being with a person that can offer me nothing but love. It sounds like shit, but that just isn't enough for me. Love is important and I wouldn't want to live without it, but it being the only thing to live on is a thought I couldn't possibly consider.
"It was fate. If you don't fight for something, you don't need it."
I can agree to that. I just hope I'll get over this soon, I hate feeling this sad and heartbroken. And my psychologist probably won't like hearing about it either, lol.
Well, for now I'm keeping myself up with Our Last Night, by far my favourite band. Not just a band.

Moving away from this depressive talk, yesterday I went to the convention I mentioned in my last post.
My brother and I got up at 7 in the morning to catch the bus heading to the train station 90 minutes later. After that, a 3.5 hour train ride awaited us. In theory. I, who navigated us from train to train, made a mistake once. We took the train into the wrong direction, so we arrived an hour later than planned.
The first thing my eyes caught upon getting in was the face of a very handsome Deadpool cosplayer. (I don't like western comics/Marvel much, but Deadpool is an exception.) The day afternoon seemed to be starting in a very good way already. It got even better, as we went further in: There was another Deadpool cosplayer, the face under the mask even handsomer and his custom much more detailed. Unlike the first one who walked hand in hand with a girl, he also seemed to be there all by himself. You saw him talking to all kinda people all the time. Of course, especially girls. My brother suggested taking a photo together with him, and I playfully slapped him and instantly refused in a tsundere-ish way. Yet the more often I kept running into the cosplayer, the more I started crushing on fangirling over him.
After we grabbed lunch in the cafeteria, I checked my phone to see a message from the cosplayer I wanted to give my Valentine's gift to. She asked where I was for a print of her cosplay I also wanted to buy. We walked around another short while, when I finally got a reply. It took me courage, but right away he and I went upstairs, to find her sitting on a bench. She gave me the print, I paid her and then gave her my present. (Edit: OHMYGOSH SHE POSTED A PHOTO OF IT ON TWITTER) My knees were shaking like hell while we walked away.
Soon after that happened we again found ourselves back at the merchant area. I really wanted to buy Clow Cards from Card Captor Sakura, but on the other hand, there was this amazing Deadpool cardigan. Clow Cards were half the price of the cardigan, but I'd have more from the cardigan. The merchant offered me eventually to try on the cardigan, and I did. Reluctantly I bought it and instantly changed my outfit from my Hatsune Miku cardigan to my Deadpool one.

Suddenly, there was this Deadpool cosplayer again. I tried not to stare while we sneaked away from him. He saw my back nevertheless and shouted "Awesome jacket!" after me. Shocked by this sudden attention, I did nothing and just kept walking. My brother heavily criticized me for that behaviour. Just seconds after I that, I regretted this as well, since a lot of good comeback lines kept popping up in my head. "You're more awesome! *wink*" for instance. Perks of being shy.

Shortly after a toilet break and right before we wanted to leave, we ran into him again. People kept blocking the way, so my brother walking in front of me with a gap that grew and grew. When the crowd faded, I started running to catch up. More to avoid the Cosplayer than to catch up actually. I didn't consider that me running would be getting more attention than not, but that thought didn't cross my mind until he called after me again.

"Hey, awesome jacket, turn around!" Was that now my new nickname?

I turned around while walking backwards.

He threw the finger guns at me, followed by a wink. Unconsciously I responded with the same gesture. As I turned back to see where I was walking, I died already. The embarrassment was real.

As my brother and I got our jackets from the cloakroom, I saw him a last time and cursed at my brother for not forcing me to take a picture with him after all. Who knows if I would ever find him again? 

On the train ride back we played paper games and talked about music and video games. I can proudly say that my brother is my favourite person to go to places, we just had a lot of fun and I'm really looking forward to go to the book fair with him next month ❤

#44: I'm still alive and breathing!

Wow, my last post on here was more than a year ago, shortly after I returned from Japan. I actually had three sentences in a draft for a new post written in November last year, but I never got around to publish it. For the better though. I can summarize all of 2014 by saying I had ups and downs the entire time. Like seriously. Started seeing a psychologist, was about to finish therapy in December, but got worse again and now I'm just feeling so very happy again. This is life pretty much.

I also apologize in advantage for this rambling blog. This post is mainly for cheering myself up, so it's gonna be a lot of cheesy cheering lines.

The reason I'm picking up my blog again is because I know it would help me in many ways. One is of course to keep writing, a thing I loved to do more than anything. I have no idea why I ever stopped, especially in English, since that's my favourite language out of the four I'm able to speak. Second reason is it being something like a diary, and diaries are good in so many ways. You can get stuff of your chest without directly talking to someone. Of course my blog being so publicly visible might be a disadvantage, but it's not like I intend on hiding my feelings. If anyone is reading my blog, he or she has probably seen my Twitter anyway. Since mini blogs are easier to write (140 letter limit), that's where I really update regularly. Even post links to new blog entries will be posted there, in case I will ever post one again after this. ψ(｀∇´)ψ

Well, what have I been up to? The only things I've really been doing regularly are playing Love Live and watching YouTube. It's kinda sad how my hobbies, which used to be really broad, have reduced this much. Because of that I've had depressions as well, since I felt like I became a boring plain Jane with no hobbies. I'm not stressed out about it anymore, I came to terms with it. I mean, after all, it's kinda motivating. The journey to find my place in this world is still ongoing and honestly, it's just so exciting. It's not like I can just blend out the negative things, but when those happen, I know that I will be happy soon after. And I mean, two days ago an amazing thing happened to me. If one of those negative things before hadn't happened, I'd never have been in this position. Life is good right now! Then again, I'm on vacation. I don't want to go to schoooooool!

Gosh, I really need to get used to this again first, urgh. Oh well, ending this post with love. Cheers!

❤～(´ε｀*)

#43: Another empty promise

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So, I'm now finally back in Germany and that for almost 2 weeks. Could have posted the first week, didn't. It seems like I'm still lazy as fuck. Instead of being creative, I'm flirting with my dog, playing video games with my brother and sleeping suffering in school.

Buuuuut once weekend has come I seriously want to work on this stupid ass blog. It'll not only help me with my essay in English (10-12 pages, lol), but also make me work emotionally with the year 10 months in Japan and accept the fact, that I'm back in Germany.

I mean come on, whoever wanted to read this blog has been waiting for those 10 months already, a few weeks now won't do a difference. Right?

On a different note, I'm currently playing „X-Blades“ with my little brother Ototo. When I was younger, I had a copy for computer, but the game lagged so hard and all the buttons on the keyboard... Gave up after the first 30 minutes gameplay. Now the other day, as I was on Amazon looking for cheap items on my wishlist, I came across the sequel of the game. Seeing both („X-Blades“ and its sequel called „Blades of Time“ for the PS3) under 10€ each, I bought them. Kinda funny, „X-Blades“ arrived first. So nostalgic, but dammit, the dungeons take so much time. You spend at least 15 minutes fighting off annoying beasts and collecting souls to level up your skills. Even the PS3 game is kinda laggy like the PC version with the camera being a pain and everything. When playing, you just feel that the game isn't the newest. Makes me look forward to „Blades of Time“.

...I just remembered that I forgot to watch/record „Angel Beats!“ on TV. I'll have to buy the DVDs like I planned to from the start after all.

As always, sucks to be me.

#36: Adjourned preparations

Soooo actually mum and me wanted to pack my stuff. Actually. What happened? NOTHING ❤
But at least I got a lot of sweets I'm going to gift my family. We'll still buy some more but it'll be enough. (Thanks to a certain girl for all the tips and hints and inspirational ideas and so on. Helped a lot.)
And then we have to pack next week. Saturday I'll be busy after all with wearing a lolita dress and running around on a book fair, trying to get autographs of my favourite mangaka. Ema Toyama for example. I want her shikishi ; A ; I'd also get some Tite Kubo for Master, but... I DON'T HAVE ANY MANGA OF HIM D:
The last day of the week, Sunday, I'll probably meet up with some friends and see them for the last time.
Z-nee'll come with me to the airport, I still can't express how happy I am about this. She was also the first one who registered to Dropbox. So much gay love for my best friend ; v ;
More otaku stuff I can report about is that I finished episode 6 of Brave10. Master made me watch this shit and I don't like it at all (annoying female and male main characters, lame story...) but now that I'm halfway through I'm just gonna finish it. Not like I got anything better to do anyway. Of course noooot. I could learn Japanese or... do effective things but instead, why not watch an anime you don't like? Envy-chan, you're making so much sense. Ohohoho, yes I am. Not.
Oh, and I'm at volume 9 of Love Hina. I want to finish the series before I leave. I got all the volumes, so why am I not finishing them? I'M SO LAZY AND UNPRODUCTIVE THESE DAYS. Friends, why aren't you kicking my ass? x'D
Last 5 school days. I can do it!

#33: MUAHAHAHA, I lied!

There never was a Christmas post. I took the pictures, but then last week my SD card broke, making all the stuff on it disappear. I have to buy a new one and re-take all the pictures, it's so annoying.

But let's forget Christmas for now, I'll report how the Japanfestival was and what I was doing concerning my year abroad because there indeed was stuff happening.
The Japanfestival was as awesome as it was two years ago. I bought a lot of second hand manga, increasing my collection to a total of 314 manga. Over 20 are still unread. It's annoying as well but actually fun. Right now I'm reading Sgt. Keroro. My favourite character is Giroro and Tamama. They're so cute! But actually the highlight of the whole event was a certain show group which did not only perform a Bleach show but also took part in a cosplay casting. They were the viewer's favourite (according to the applause etc) but still didn't win the final. That made me really mad. That's all I can say. I loved it. 2015 I'll go again.

Now, to my year in Japan. First off all the important facts:
The year is actually "just" 10 months.
I'll take off at the 18th March this year.
I'll arrive in Narata.
My family lives one hour away from Tokyo, same for my school.
My school is amazing.
I can look over to Disneyland over the sea <3 br="">
I haven't done it yet, but I will write my family a letter. I can't wait longer, I bet they want to get to know me, too >___<
I heard of others that they got 2 families (arrival family, one for the time after that) but I'm really glad I didn't. I just hope it works out good for both of us. I need to learn Japanese ; 3 ;

But that wasn't what I wanted to share about what was going on. I wanted to talk about money.
The whole travel costs 7900€, quite much for my family. Well, actually it wouldn't be affordable without a scholarship. We got one, but there are still 6000€ left. That's why we went to a big company here in town and told them my problem. The time's running and they said we should have come sooner, but they said they'd try to help us. It's highly doubtable that we'll get ALL the money, of course not and my parents are gonna raise a credit, but the higher the credit is, the more interest there'll be. We want to keep it as small as possible, naturally. I offered to work when I'm coming back. Okay, I really hope that I don't have to do that. When I come back, I want to spend my time for school, friends, reuniting. And Japan. Not working. But if it's necessary, I'll sacrifice myself for that. That's just a minor thing I have to do in order to make my dream come true after all.
Now I got the tip that I should talk to high politician here. That'd be awesome if we could get more help.

So. Now I have to read more Keroro. After that: Shoujo.
And wow. This week. It's amazing. Today three classes, tomorrow two, the two days after that two or three and then... School reports and vacatioooooon. Woop woop! Slacking off! Like my favourite show group! <3 br="">

#31: Error 404: Sleep not found

The birthday party was simply amazing. I had so much fun, it was just great. Well, I always have fun if I'm together with Z-nee but it's even more fun if Hungary-sama is around as well. We're a damn fine trio, working perfectly together. This weekend just proved it once more.

Hungary-sama picked Azu-nyan and me up and we drove to Z-nee's place (her parents drove us, but pffff (；≧∇≦) =3 ). We arrived just on time - 3 p.m., the time the celebration was supposed to start. After a powerful greeting from her dog which looks like a huge snowball and animosity towards us from her other younger dog, we sat down in the living room to eat cake (we had two different ones) and muffins (chocolate and vanilla with chocolate chips). I don't like cake, so I stuffed myself with muffins. Too bad I had lunch earlier, so I only got to eat two muffins (´∩｀。) I love Z-nee's muffin. Their consistence is just perfect. They weren't dry at all and... waaaah, muffins ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ
Once we finished we went upstairs and made us feel comfortable in one of her many living rooms. Our main intention was to watch a DVD, but first we sang a birthday song and gave Z-nee our gifts.

On the convention a month ago I spotted those two figures. I knew she loves the series, so Hungary-sama and me had the idea to split it and we take one of them. I took Tiger (I *am* Tiger!" 8D) and Hungary-sama Bunny (even if it was the other way round, doesn't matter). Azu-nyan got her the sexy Sebast-chan cup with Zelda mint drops. Hungary-sama also gifted her a picture frame with a photo of the three of us, but I won't show that, we all look retarded on that one 8D
After this was done, we finnaly watched the DVD from a magazine. On this DVD we had different 10 minute-previews of anime and also the first episodes of a few. We were curious about the German dub of Pandora Hearts, so we just watched that. That and a few others, as well as a guy cooking Christmas cake.
First series was "Berserk - Golden Age Arc Movie I". We watched it in Japanese so Azu-nyan'd understand it but they didn't talk much, so that was really pointless. 10 minutes didn't tell much about the story but I can say one thing for sure: I will never accept this person as a male. Eye lashes make everyone look more female, even the main character (that wasn't the main character though) ಠ_ಠ

After that we watched the thing we wanted to watch: Pandora Hearts. Although Oz (I'll call my child like that) is spoken by one of my favourite German voice actors, I can't help but think his voice doesn't fit the character at all. Hey, it's less worse than the horrible German dub of the new Fullmetal Alchemist movie (Milos something) where they used totally new voice actors although the old ones were just perfect ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ  But for some reason I don't want to watch the anime of the series. If I'll ever do something with the series, then it'll be reading. The manga has been for an eternity now on my shopping list but I always found games or manga with a higher priority so I never bought it. "Mardock Scramble : The Second Combustion" was next. I saw an article about the anime in the magazine already, but I swear, I didn't pay attention. So while we watched the first 10 minutes of it, there was this handsome blonde guy. He was getting friends with the main character and wanted to show her his lover. That's why they walked toward an ocean/sea until the guy said "There we are." It ended at this point. All of us were really curious about the lover, complaining that it suddenly ended. But I already made guesses: The ocean was his lover figuratively. Or maybe... hm, there was a sunset and ocean. It all seemed pretty gay, so... Gay?! Dolphins! His lover has to be a freaking dolphin! And I was damn right. It WAS a freaking dolphin. Why even... goddess. But just for the blonde guy named "Tweedledee" I'd watch the movie. Without knowing anything about the series 8'D
Last but not least we watched "Kämpfer" as an anime. Well, what can I say about this random shounen? The jokes. Holy shit, the jokes. They joked about the voice actors of their plushies because the plushies are the ones informing them that they're Kämpfers and so on. Spongebob Squarepants and "Attack No.  1" main character Mila. Our trio kept on joking about this the whole evening.
Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion didn't make it any better. I mean I'm a Suzaku fan girl and when he appeared as SPINzaku I was done. Fangirling aaaall the time, hugging Z-nee's leg and screaming his name. (The atmosphere made me drunk...?) And I still dislike Lelouch sooo much. And C.C. And everyone except Suzaku.

While we finished watching anime with that, we continued with watching a guy baking a Christmas cake. As I already mentioned, Hungary-sama, who's a total pro if it comes to baking, kept on complaining about him not knowing things, naming things wrong and about the kitchen itself. She should make some cupcakes for
me. Hers are... wow. Just wow. I wonder if Master can compete with her （・ｗ・）
And then it was time for a super huge dinner.

Pizza, sushi, more pizza, mini pizza, buns with cheese and/or any kind of sausage... And we were only 4 people. I ate almost all of the mini pizza, at least half a tuna pizza... I was stuffed, but I kept on eating more o(>▽<)o

After going back upstairs we played the UNO card game, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, ate the sushi... And time just flew by. It was midnight already when we decided to play Old Maid with 3 different card sets, a different UNO game, the original one and then... a board game. In German it was called "Malefiz". Duh, this game made all of us damn aggressive and we sat there playing it for 2 hours. It was 3.30 a.m. when finally Hungary-sama won this shit. You can't imagine how frustrating it was. After that we all felt absolutely whacked but weren't tired. Still our group went down to the bathroom doing some business while I ate another piece of pizza.

The situation was just so stupid. While other people'd get drunk (17th birthday, duh!) we played board games until that time. It was so hilarious imagining how you'd tell this to your class mates or other people. "Woah, this weekend we had a gaming evening! We played the whole night and didn't even get to sleep. Aren't we hardcore? We played  a BOARD GAME."

I can't remember what we did after that, but when Z-nee and I went to bed (we shared a room while Azu-nyan and Hungary-sama shared another one), we talked for quite a while about our RPGs, dogs, parents... marrying... It was 5.30 a.m. when we kept silent and tried to sleep.

Z-nee woke me up at 9.30 a.m. and I felt even more tired than before. 4 hours of sleep on a weekend was probably a new record.

We got up, ate more cake for breakfast (I ate muffins) with cocoa (love that shit), played "Panic in Zombieland" and "Pokémon Rumble" on Wii, ate lunch (fish sticks!) packed our stuff and drove to my home after letting Hungary-sama off. I quickly brushed my teeth (haven't done this in a long time ＿|￣|○), threw 4 3D glasses in my bag, mooched money from my mum and made her drive us to the cinema where we met up with Hungary-sama. (We replaced Azu-nyan with my brother.)

We came to watch the movie "Wreck-it Ralph" I had been looking forward to for a really long time. Before the movie started, a short movie called "Paperman" from Disney was on. I don't really know what hit me. But the story was touching. It was animated in black and white, only the lipstick of the female main character was red. When the paper planes started leading them and the classical music started playing, I broke down and started crying like a baby. Especially when my brother told me he got goosebumps. I was disappoint, asking myself why *I* didn't get goosebumps because I knew how much it touched me. But then it just happened. I cried and made ugly faces.

Then the movie started. My brother and me freaked out about every detail, every video game (character) we recognized. Besides parents we also were the oldest visitors - probably the only ones who got the jokes though. So many insiders the small children probably didn't get. And then the credits of the movie. With this this song. And this one. I just sat there, singing along. I love it. I already told my mum that I want the soundtrack of this song as my Christmas gift from her. That and the two train group tickets.

Back home I ate a snack and later also dinner because I was really hungry after eating not much for lunch (wanted to have space for popcorn but in the end I wasn't hungry for that).

And then I went to bed at 10 p.m. (quite early compared to my last night) and fall asleep at 11 p.m.

But back to Christmas gifts... I finally have ideas for everything and ordered the last stuff I can't afford in normal shops online. Sadly, I was 3 € short so I spontaneously had to change my plan and buy different things. The people'll still appreciate it but I'm not sure if they won't be disappointed now that I got their expectations up with complaining about Christmas gifts being better than birthday gifts ○|￣|＿

We'll see. That's all I can say about that now. I mean I still got 19 days.

And with that we're getting to the last point.

A few days ago a person from the organisation called again. She asked a few questions about the explanation from the neurologist but yush, it's finally done!

I still need to get the money stuff done though (ﾉ∇･､)

NEED. TO. DO. THAT. As soon as possible, time's running, this Saturday I'll travel to the capital and meet other host students like Azu-nyan. I'm her company so to say. I won't know anyone and I'll probably be forever alone, but yay, smelling big city air once in a while is nice I guess （´ヘ｀；）

#27: I choose you, PERSONA

Even if you're feeling really sick, the day starts much better if you wake up and the first thing you see when you look out of the window is fog.
I really love fog. First of all it's because it makes everything look more mystical, kinda adventurous and second is Persona 4. If you haven't heard of it now, back up. Leave. NOW!!!!!!111einseinself
Nah, but yeah, it was so awesome that the fog didn't leave the whole day. Just like in Persona 4, when people were about to die. (If it's foggy in the real world, the fog in the world inside the TV would have cleared up and the shadows'd attack the people caught up in there.) That gave me the urge to put on my glasses who're resembling the main character of the game.

He's my favourite although he doesn't really speak a word. (By the way I don't like the anime and don't agree on the name but YES I do love Skittles. I prefer the sour ones though 8D)
A female online friend made me. After I first loved Yosuke and she came up with Ringo... ô.o
"OMG BEATLES, FUCK YOSUKE I LOVE THE MAIN CHARACTER." 'cause that's how I roll.
Back to the story: Suddenly I remembered that I'm not wearing my glasses in school (no strenght, so pure face decoration) so people wouldn't ask dumb questions. I had to drop the thought and silently admire the fog without being super cool and an otaku ; v ;

#24: Compact convention report

2nd November 2012

So it started a little chaotic but ended fantastic. But let's start from the beginning, shall we?

Right after school, I hurried out of Math class, jumped with Azu into the car and we got driven to the train station where the ticket machine wouldn't  work properly first and my mum almost freaked out and made me panic as well. But in the end we did make it on time and yeah... While the German post is really awesome and fast, the "Deutsche Bahn" (German train service whatever) isn't. Due to some stuff with brakes, we were 20 minutes late in the end. But not only that, we also took the bus later in the wrong direction, so all in all, we arrived much later than originally planned and I missed the show group I wanted to see - the reason we instantly took the train after school.

We watched the showgroup that was on stage after them though - a mix of Pokémon and Cinderella. (Ohgoddess, why, the Psyducks danced Gangnam Style. My brain is forever damaged. OTL)

After that we walked a bit around and I was kinda searching for a certain German artist I was fan of. Okay, it was more because of his videos on YouTube, but he is such an awesome personality, really entertaining. He wasn't where he was last year, so I was a little disappointed, but I knew he said he would be there, so I trusted this. And then I almost passed him in the corner where shops had their table. I didn't expect him to be there, so I was in a shock state for a short moment. I decided to go to him the day after that because I forgot some stuff and Hungary-sama, who'd come the day after that, would bring that stuff.

Later we went to the real shopping area (I spotted Christmas gifts etc |3) and also back to the main stage, where some kind of cosplay guessing happened. They got a word and had to act to it - the people were all so cool. After that the opening happened. Wow. It was so amazing. I can't describe it, but it was really awesome. Same for the J-Pop concert of a band called "bless4" after that. Honestly, I dislike J-Pop or any Asian pop at all. Fuck me, all kind of pops. But I don't know, this was really cool, hearing it live and all. I think I'm gonna buy their CD and let it get signed when it's time for that.

That was the last thing we did. Okay, after that we went back to the shopping stuff, looked at some things and had simply fun, but we were tired. Yeah, back at the place we'd stay for the weekend we fall onto the couch and rested and ate a really spicy hot dog. (I'm very, very sensitive for this stuff - my tongue was burning.)

3rd November 2012

Saturday started with a fantastic showgroup. The best showgroup I've seen. Last year they did "Avatar - The last airbender" with tons of awesome effects and this year it was awesome as well. "Sengoku Basara" with awesome weapons and at one point I almost cried even. It was so sad ; - ;

After that we went to meet and get together with Hungary-sama. Like her name says she was in her Hungary (Hetalia) cosplay. Over that day she got into a lot of talks with other cosplayers cause of that. (Kinda makes me proud because I brought her into that scene, ohohoho~) After we met my boss who gave me another manga to review (makes 4 left to reviewif we ignore a forgotten one), we went to buy onigiri with Azu and after that... The moment came. The moment, where we decided to visit the German artist I was a fan of. Hugi. First of all, I bought a book of him I didn't have and then everything started.

"I see you have a very good taste!", he said. It wasn't the first time I heard him

say this to a customer, but still, it amused me. I asked him to sign this and another comic, gave him the other already signed ones so he wouldn't draw the same. And he didn't. After drawing and talking with Hungary-sama about "The Walking Dead", I asked him to sign two photos. It was kinda cute that he showed everything around to the other artists at his table - first his own drawings (which were a year old) and then my photos because there were people from this table in the background. After he signed it in silver I also asked for another photo with him and he stood next to me when Hungary-sama took one of us and... Too bad I can't meet him next year ; - ; 

After getting this also done we headed towards the shops. Not only did we buy the birthday/Christmas presents we spotted the day before, we also collected stamps with which we could win tickets for the convention next year. When the day ended, two of them were still missing, but anyway. At 4.15 p.m. we went to another showgroup, but left after 30 minutes already because it was really... bad. That's why we decided to go to the game room. Oh yes, the game room. We went around, saw people playing DDR, beat'em'up games, and every kind of game that was at least a little Japanese. I really felt like home. Fufufu, waiting for the Tekken Tag Tournament 2 contest to start, the three of us played Mario Kart. Long talk short: I won almost all the matches after getting warmed up a little.

As soon as the game (Tekken Tag Tournament 2) was in, we took places and waited for it to load. More and more people started popping up and I made Hungary-sama write her and my name (first she write our embarrrassing full names but luckily she changed it later to our online names) on the list of the participaters. What we didn't know until then: This list was for successors. So we were too fucking late. That didn't matter in the end though: Watching the others playing was entertaining as fuck. Like REALLY exciting and stuff. The atmosphere was really awesome and everyone felt alike. After the tournament finished (...you could win awesome T-Shirts and videogames. So wonderful videogames ; - ; I really hate myself.) Hungary-sama and me played against each other. I fought against her with my favourite characters Alisa and Lars and won most of the time, not always (n00bs and their stupid luck, pfffff), but at least one round when I lost. I kept throwing her with Alisa-chan. She's such a cool character *^* (And sexy although she's a robot |3)

Then we hurried to get back to the main stage to see "bless4" one more time. My boss told me the concert would be even more awesome than the one yesterday was and although I doubted that first, it really was in the end. They sang some more songs than they did the day before. I especially liked that they sang "Cha-la-head-cha-la". They told the audience they were asked that in the press conference so they did. And ohmygoddess, first the sisters did the fusion pose, then all of the siblings did the Ginyu Force pose. It was so freaking epic. In the end, Hungary-sama and me bought the CD. I was unsure until then, but this concert made me want to even more. But that was enough for the day. We took our "taxi" to get back to where we were staying for this weekend. It was almost 11 p.m. when we arrived there and my headache was really bad and I was tired, but I had Internet, so I didn't even think about sleeping yet. Instead I took my time writing with the people I missed over this half passed weekend to which I usually talked daily. MASTER. OUJI-KUN. And Z-nee.

4th November 2012

We started the day once again with a showgroup. They were performing D. Gray-man. The Noah's were so hilarious and in-character. Okay, everyone was more or less in-character, but their actor abilities were not that good. One guy  for example looked almost all the time the same although you heard different expressions from his voice. And once again we went to the shops and got more stuff. More presents. (I'll make my brother pay back half of it. I need the money ; 3 ; )

Almost last thing we did this day (yeah, it was rather short ^^;; ) was collecting the last stamps. Since we didn't find them, we asked the people from the booth that was hosting this. Turned out they were almost invisible. But hey, we found them and handed them in before we went back to the stage and watched another - my headache just got worse and worse - showgroup. Can't say much about it, it was okay, but not really my taste. 

And that was our last act. We got our bags and headed to the bus station. My headache almost killed me and I was just relieved ro get back home to my people. I missed all of you ; v ;

#23: Short report

I'm still alive. Incredible, but true.
This weekend the convention happened and my head and body suffered too damn much from this, but I definitely had an awesome time. So long talk short: It was totally worth it.
What exactly happened, although just summarized, will follow probably tomorrow. (I'd post today if I could, but yeah no, I can't.)
Just wait for it. (No, not legendary, but epic. For me at least.)

#16: Step by step

Every time I get another mail, I can see Japan getting closer. Although I got a safe place in this program, it's still too unreal for me to actually realize it. But it's definitely going to happen.
The day after the last post I went to the town hall with my mum to get a passport for me. When we drew a number and sat down, my mum suddenly asked me whether I had the passport photos with me.

• "What? No, I don't! Why me?"
• "In this case we can leave."
• "Why am I supposed to think of everything?"

So yeah, we really went back home, got the photos and went there again. But we had a really bad argument on the first way back because her sarcasm (which I'd normally not take seriously) hurt me. Or rather it didn't hurt me, it pissed me of badly and so for a short moment, I took out my anger on her. It didn't get any better until we finally sat in the office and I was supposed to give my fingerprint. My mum, who didn't know you were supposed to do this, was amazed like a little child. And this is what made the tension-filled atmosphere loosen up. Luckily, really. With this done the first thing I did back home was going to bed. After another short night I needed more sleep. And I got enough of that, although I had a back headache when I woke up. (Cause is my spine and I'm even going to a physiologist.) After I woke up and my parents return, they had a letter for me from the organisation. It was full of information about the whole trip in general and as well facts about Japan. Was too much too read, so I didn't. Most important was the announcement for a preparation meeting in January which is necessary to attend. Talking to Master about this was like something hit me and I finally realized, that I'd really go to Japan. No easy way back, even if I wanted to.
Next and future goals I'll set myself until Japan: Send the documents until Wednesday, enjoy a certain anime convention in November (3 day ticket, yeeeees!), celebrate belated Christmas with the people I love and last but not least go to the preparation meeting and a Japan festival in January. Going step by step this way will keep me going, especially in school~

2 days since Pokémon Black & White 2 came out. My mum finally gave it to us yesterday. (She gets ALL the Pokémon games for my brother and me, but I didn't expect her to get it right on the release date.) But before she did, she made me do some of the chores, while I made them search a charm of me. It's a charm I had twice, but the second one disappeared mysteriously. Anyway, so although I would have to do lots of homework, I gave in and started playing Pokémon Black 2.

Great game, really, even better than the first, but gah... Why the fuck aren't the legendary Pokémon reverted this time as well? Why do I get a black Kyurem in the black edition? I just hate that. I loved Reshiram and all the other black exclusive Pokémon/locations (the Black Town! *^*) and now they made this. I mean I'll trade with my brother, who has White 2, anyway, but I just can't stop complaining about this. Never. But gftdhtrjwzjuk, N will be back in this game! *Q*

#15: About relief and personal rewards

Yesterday I got a call from a woman who works for the organisation I'm going to Japan with. She told me everything arrived and was really good (especially my letter for the host family! *^*) but she'd like to have a better photo of my family. The photo I sent showed us playing a board game together but you couldn't see the faces of everyone. The woman wanted to keep it though since it showed our family life very good. She suggested to send the other picture with the medical documents together and I told her this would be no problem. It wasn't after all (if you ignore the fact that we have no proper family picture and we had to take one, ahahaha).
But yeah, this was such a relief for me- Not only that it arrived in time but that it also was a good outcome. I'm proud of myself. It's bad that I procrastinated but my special skill - working under high pressure - only shows when the dead line is close. OTL

The evening I invited my brother to watch the movies with me. I already watched "In a Distant Time" earlier (seriously, I'd love to play the visual novel of it... Tenma, Tomomasa and Abe no Yasuaki were so... my favourites.) and well, for 2 episodes it was okay. They were only OVAs and the story may have been a little confusing, but it was nice. You can't make more out of dating games than that. But yeah, and I didn't want to watch Memoirs of a Geisha again although it's an awesome movie because I already saw it 3 times and my brother would probably think it's too boring, so we went for Gantz.
With crisps and drink and jellybabies we sat on top of the bunk bed in my room and watched the two Gantz movies in a row. Almost. Sometimes we made breaks so I could go and answer people on Skype >v<;; To summon it up: It was hella awesome. The last Japanese movie I watched with my brother was "Higanjima" (worst vampire movie ever) so we were sceptical since the movie was full of effects. But it turned out awesome and although I never watched the anime/read the manga I think it might have been very close. The effects were really good and my brother was flashed by the ending. I could imagine this already, but it was stunning nevertheless. One of the best live actions I've seen so far. (All the time I thought about Art class, like "Damn, I drew their suits wrong!")

And today, last thing for this post, my game arrived. It's nothing special, but to get the game boxed as new for only 3,42 € was worth it. It's pretty fun as well.

In the game you're playing the agents who are helping people who need... well, help. It's a rhythm game, so just tap on popping up numbers when the time has come for that. The first thing I thought of while playing this was "osu!" . Seriously, the same stuff. But it's a lot easier because of the smaller screen and hands are faster than computer mouses. I also thought that there would be some stupid game music, but it's real music. Sung by different artists, but still. There are songs like "Y.M.C.A", "Sk8er Boi", "Marterial Girl" and "I was born to love you". I was really amazed by that x'D I'm playing all of these via hi-fi and my brother is like: "Dude, now turn this shit off! >:C"
I will never stop ❤

P.S.: Since I know there are people watching: Got the message from the online store that the Christmas gifts were sent |3

#14: You have to love it.

Yeah, you should love the speed of the German post. I ordered two days ago, got a mail that it was sent yesterday and today it already arrived - my hot deal.

Just the DVDs. Envy already belongs to me for a loooong time.

So later that day I'll probably start watching the stuff (no need to watch "Memoirs of a Geisha" though, saw that awesome movie already 3 times >v<) and maybe even give a comment about that here. Because of Art class (right, Z-nee?) I'm really looking forward to see Gantz.
In any case my anime/Japanese movie shelf will be glad to have new friends. Hip hip hooray!
Yeah, this was totally worth two posts a day. Deal with it.

#13: I did it!

It was such a pain yesterday. I was basically on the road all the morning and afternoon. But I sent it and for now I can rest a little.

• Online form ✓
• Statement of agreement ✓
• Medical documents
• Letter for host family ✓
• Photos✓
• School documents ✓
• Passport copy

All the stuff that has to be sent via snail mail (except the medical documents) were sent yesterday. All the online stuff is uploaded as well, so now I just need to wait for next week when I can go to the doctor.

Goddammit, my mum paid 14€ for 6 passport photos.

A propos money. Since my other friend (not officially, but we won't go after all/now I can't anymore) canceled the shopping trip to Berlin, I threw myself in the arms of online shopping sites.

I made some really hot deals *^* There was for example this offer where you can buy 4 DVDs for 20€. Not just some random DVDs, no. If it was that way I'd never bought something. But those DVDs were anime/Japanese movies. And I bought

• Memoirs of a Geisha
• Gantz
• Gantz 2: Perfect Answer
• In a Distant Time

First three are movies/live actions while the last is some shoujo anime movie adaption from a video game. It's hard to find the real English title since it was never released there D:

Another thing I bought is a new game for my lonely DS. I mean I still have tons of unfinished games here, but not the motivation to play them. I stopped playing them for a reason after all. (THE FUCKING BOSS/whatever WAS TOO HARD.) The only games I play naturally are Dragon Quest IX, Pokémon (any DS title) and- Oh wait, that's it.

But that's still not it. On another site I also bought Christmas gifts. Yep, I'm crazy, but I didn't want to wait any longer (I bought gifts for 2 people. So at least 2 are still missing.) because it seemed like a good deal to me and who knows if they'd have had it still later... Can't wait to see their faces! This is definitely going to be the best Christmas vacation ever. There will be great gifts and great people. Haaaah, I just love my people. ❤

#11: Stalking the stalkers

Yaaay, so as expected, I stayed home all Saturday!
I woke up at 2 p.m., got dressed up, prepared an almost failing pizza (tasted awesome though) and rolled myself to my computer to talk all day with two friends, especially Ouji-kun. Really, I felt positive all the time. In contrast to my expectations I wasn't in a bad mood and that counts more than going out or anything >v<

And I played Dragon Quest IX all day. Seriously, I'll never get sick of that awesome piece of shit *Q* There's so much you can do after you beat the story. Like completing your alchemy stuff, explore caves with treasure maps, level up, getting all titles, missions... It's simply amazing. My characters are all named after my friends and my brother in real life. It's funny to see how the jobs fit them. Or not. I'm a luminary. I raise the concentration of other characters and disturb the enemies. Not sure if that's me XD
My next in the game is to complete mission 59. I have to get some shoes but they can only be collected in high ranked caves... I paused in a cave rank 74 because my brother with who I'm playing co-op went to bed. My characters are level 45, 72 and 66, so maybe it might be a little too high but tactic will always beat strength *^* If the difference between the levels isn't too high, that is.

Today after getting some sleep I'll definitely play some more. I love that I got into the game again because it consumes so much time and it keeps me busy. This could be some really nice holidays. I mean the start of next week will be stressful because I need to send the stuff for Japan (oh yes, still no reply about that. And my doctor is on vacation as well, this is really... Bad coincidence.) and do some homework but then it'll be the same again. Nothing to do, so yes, I count on my friends and video games X3 Like always.

About the title: I'm constantly watching the rising number of visits of my blog. It's funny. I mean I can see what pages linked to my blog, what words people searched for to get to my blog... Most people who are reading this are my friends/people I know in person. I know 3.
Just that you guys know: I CAN SEE YOU ❤