#19: When you thought you did it...

When you thought you did it, got things done, the next hurdle pops up in front of you. But sometimes it just happens that you took too many of them during a short time, used the last but of your condition and just break down.
For me this always means tears. It might sound sad, but crying actually feels good for me. I don't have any other way to let go of all the feelings that start welling up inside me, so I'm doing it this way (unconsciously though). No matter how good it feels, to cry you have to have fallen very deep. Something (in my case my parents and also myself me) hurt you.
I learned from all this crying though. Never keep it to yourself. No matter how. Find a way to make yourself felt. Sometimes the simplest way is the best. I told a very important person how I felt. It touched me so much to see how hard this person tried to make me smile. Eventually it worked. It was only for a short moment and not strong, but I smiled. I'm an introverted person and I don't like to show my weakness like this to people, but if you really consider them as friends, don't hesitate.

My reason to cry is actually really stupid. Seriously, if somebody else told me this (or I saw a random post on a social network) I'd probably think by myself that this wouldn't be a reason to cry. But hey, sometimes I really am a crybaby. Gah, so after coming home I forced my family to finally take a family photo with me. I wanted to go print it instantly, but my mum said to me she'd go with the family's new dog to the vet first (I don't consider it as a pet, more a toy. But I'm no animal abuser, I'm still treating it right >:C ). I waited and waited and waited, getting more tired the more time passed. When the clock said 6 pm and the post office closed, my dad called me to tell me they'd get some gas for our car first before my mum'd go with me to get the photos. This was when my motivation sank.

• "No."
• "Why not?"
• "I'm tired and the post office closed already."
• "Oh, okay."

I have no idea why, but this killed me. I wanted to get things done, but didn't because my parents took so long. After saying bye for a nap to the friend, who'd save me later, I started crying in my bed. All this stress there'd still be... It was simply too much. I really wonder if I'm the only one who's overstrained by this. People, if you can't handle this, never apply for a year abroad. I might not be fit for the paper stuff, but I'm willing to survive for the experience I'll have later.
IT'LL BE FREAKING AWESOME.
...Ohmygoddess, the convention's already next weekend. Holy shit. And I think I'll wear no cosplay this time. What's wrong with me.