This morning was extremely stressy although it was supposed to be my freetime cause I got the first two classes off. I woke up, really tired, eating, dressing up and leaving for the doctor to get my vaccination (my arm still hurts ; - ; ). While I was vaccinated, my mum realized she forgot my vaccination record. Genius mum. Got the vaccination nevertheless.
Our next tour was the bank to get money for medicaments. On our way back we stopped home, I ran in, got the record and we drove back to the doctor where I got a paper they missed to add as well (we waited a little too long). So we hurried to the car because it was almost time to go to school. But then we decided to get the medication first. We got them and hurried home, where Azu was already ready to go to school. Luckily she didn't go without me and waited patiently until I finished getting my stuff together. I think we never walked this fast before to school together. As always, we didn't speak a single word.
After school (I skipped lunch, yay!) and begging my brother to come with me, we went to the post office (to finally send the fucking medical documents. Done!!) and to the bank. We (only me, but we did it for him as well) needed to register our interest in our bankbook. My mum told me it was because the organisation send stuff for the scholarship and now she needed to send in my balance. Fuck, I'm really afraid that they'll ask for all the saved money there. It's not much. Less than 1/10 of the money the whole trip costs, but I basically saved this money there my whole life. Right, I could work to earn this stuff back, but I don't have time for this. Right now, I don't have any time to do a job. I mean I wouldn't even have many options because I'm still too young. Most jobs are simply for people >18. I really need to concentrate on school more, and doing a job after school won't help me with this at all. Money is nice and all, but education is what'll make me earn more money |D
30.10.12
29.10.12
#21: Finally!
Phew, so today I was visiting the doctor (hopefully the second last time) to get back my medical documents. Tomorrow I'm luckily free the first two classes, so I'll use this time to get a suggested vaccination and to post these documents. I'll pray that it'll arrive tomorrow and they won't kick my ass too much. I know I did shit with doing everything this late (and all of my doctors filled this out in German, not English as it was ordered OTL), but ohmygoddess, finally. After this, all that's left from the list will be the passport which I'll get on 5th November and send instantly.
I'm really glad the organisation is so super friendly but at the same time, this might be what's making me procrastinate (although I feel really guilty).
And then I have to hand in an application for exemption in school for the meeting in January. I better not do that too late.
A minor thing I have to do is to pick a notebook x'D My parents want to buy me one for Japan, but I don't really know which one. I want a coloured one. So no black, grey or white. Best would be pink. No, I don't like pink, but all my technical devices are pink and I want to continue that, just for fun. I already picked one actually, but I want certain graphics and so much stuff that the price'd be the one of a Mac. And my parents can't have that, can they? û.u So I said I'll sacrifice some of my saved money. But there's still time to go. So no need to hurry. First priority is other stuff!
I'm really glad the organisation is so super friendly but at the same time, this might be what's making me procrastinate (although I feel really guilty).
And then I have to hand in an application for exemption in school for the meeting in January. I better not do that too late.
A minor thing I have to do is to pick a notebook x'D My parents want to buy me one for Japan, but I don't really know which one. I want a coloured one. So no black, grey or white. Best would be pink. No, I don't like pink, but all my technical devices are pink and I want to continue that, just for fun. I already picked one actually, but I want certain graphics and so much stuff that the price'd be the one of a Mac. And my parents can't have that, can they? û.u So I said I'll sacrifice some of my saved money. But there's still time to go. So no need to hurry. First priority is other stuff!
27.10.12
#20: Forgot what happened
So it's been a while since I posted... I wanted to do it already 2 days ago, but then I procrastinated and what-not-so-on.
But to keep everything short: Everything for Japan is done except the medical documents. My doctor was bitching around (my mum complained much more than I did) and I really need to send them, but I can't earlier than Monday because obviously he didn't fill the stuff out yet and argh... Oh right, the passport, too. But I won't get it earlier than the 5th November.
School started being a bitch, but therefor my social life is going quite well. No, I'm NOT choosing social life over school, it just happens besides everything.
Things in my mind right now are a new notebook, Christmas and a surprise for a friend. (He he ❤)
Sorry if my post seems rather lame this time. I don't know, I'm kinda exhausted. More will follow soon anyway.
*crawls away*
But to keep everything short: Everything for Japan is done except the medical documents. My doctor was bitching around (my mum complained much more than I did) and I really need to send them, but I can't earlier than Monday because obviously he didn't fill the stuff out yet and argh... Oh right, the passport, too. But I won't get it earlier than the 5th November.
School started being a bitch, but therefor my social life is going quite well. No, I'm NOT choosing social life over school, it just happens besides everything.
Things in my mind right now are a new notebook, Christmas and a surprise for a friend. (He he ❤)
Sorry if my post seems rather lame this time. I don't know, I'm kinda exhausted. More will follow soon anyway.
*crawls away*
22.10.12
#19: When you thought you did it...
When you thought you did it, got things done, the next hurdle pops up in front of you. But sometimes it just happens that you took too many of them during a short time, used the last but of your condition and just break down.
For me this always means tears. It might sound sad, but crying actually feels good for me. I don't have any other way to let go of all the feelings that start welling up inside me, so I'm doing it this way (unconsciously though). No matter how good it feels, to cry you have to have fallen very deep. Something (in my case my parents and also myself me) hurt you.
I learned from all this crying though. Never keep it to yourself. No matter how. Find a way to make yourself felt. Sometimes the simplest way is the best. I told a very important person how I felt. It touched me so much to see how hard this person tried to make me smile. Eventually it worked. It was only for a short moment and not strong, but I smiled. I'm an introverted person and I don't like to show my weakness like this to people, but if you really consider them as friends, don't hesitate.
My reason to cry is actually really stupid. Seriously, if somebody else told me this (or I saw a random post on a social network) I'd probably think by myself that this wouldn't be a reason to cry. But hey, sometimes I really am a crybaby. Gah, so after coming home I forced my family to finally take a family photo with me. I wanted to go print it instantly, but my mum said to me she'd go with the family's new dog to the vet first (I don't consider it as a pet, more a toy. But I'm no animal abuser, I'm still treating it right >:C ). I waited and waited and waited, getting more tired the more time passed. When the clock said 6 pm and the post office closed, my dad called me to tell me they'd get some gas for our car first before my mum'd go with me to get the photos. This was when my motivation sank.
IT'LL BE FREAKING AWESOME.
...Ohmygoddess, the convention's already next weekend. Holy shit. And I think I'll wear no cosplay this time. What's wrong with me.
For me this always means tears. It might sound sad, but crying actually feels good for me. I don't have any other way to let go of all the feelings that start welling up inside me, so I'm doing it this way (unconsciously though). No matter how good it feels, to cry you have to have fallen very deep. Something (in my case my parents and also myself me) hurt you.
I learned from all this crying though. Never keep it to yourself. No matter how. Find a way to make yourself felt. Sometimes the simplest way is the best. I told a very important person how I felt. It touched me so much to see how hard this person tried to make me smile. Eventually it worked. It was only for a short moment and not strong, but I smiled. I'm an introverted person and I don't like to show my weakness like this to people, but if you really consider them as friends, don't hesitate.
My reason to cry is actually really stupid. Seriously, if somebody else told me this (or I saw a random post on a social network) I'd probably think by myself that this wouldn't be a reason to cry. But hey, sometimes I really am a crybaby. Gah, so after coming home I forced my family to finally take a family photo with me. I wanted to go print it instantly, but my mum said to me she'd go with the family's new dog to the vet first (I don't consider it as a pet, more a toy. But I'm no animal abuser, I'm still treating it right >:C ). I waited and waited and waited, getting more tired the more time passed. When the clock said 6 pm and the post office closed, my dad called me to tell me they'd get some gas for our car first before my mum'd go with me to get the photos. This was when my motivation sank.
- "No."
- "Why not?"
- "I'm tired and the post office closed already."
- "Oh, okay."
IT'LL BE FREAKING AWESOME.
...Ohmygoddess, the convention's already next weekend. Holy shit. And I think I'll wear no cosplay this time. What's wrong with me.
16.10.12
#18: Improvements all the way
After my teacher kicked my ass, I really saw that there were things I had to improve. It's hard for me to keep all of this up, but today I properly did my homework for tomorrow and finished it even before dinner time. Okay, yeah, it was just one homework (in English), but nevertheless so much better.
And now I even said goodnight to my friends so I could get more sleep (First I'll play a little more Pokémon, but not longer than midnight. Nope.).
Now I'll set goals as well for school. I know my progress will be slowly, but I saw what slacking off did to my grades. Nothing good. I could still pass classes with this but this is simply not enough. Universities are having a numerus clausus for Japanese studies so I need to work hard. It's good that I'll to repeat a year after I get back from Japan (my free will, I'm not THAT bad D: ).
I need to study more, not only for tests but also for a good, active cooperation during classes. My marks for this are really bad because I never raise my hand (...although I'm shy >.>). Then I need to spend more time on homework, do them properly and deep. And definitely more sleep, less procrastinating.
Motivation's there, I just need to fight my laziness. FIGHT!!
And now I even said goodnight to my friends so I could get more sleep (First I'll play a little more Pokémon, but not longer than midnight. Nope.).
Now I'll set goals as well for school. I know my progress will be slowly, but I saw what slacking off did to my grades. Nothing good. I could still pass classes with this but this is simply not enough. Universities are having a numerus clausus for Japanese studies so I need to work hard. It's good that I'll to repeat a year after I get back from Japan (my free will, I'm not THAT bad D: ).
I need to study more, not only for tests but also for a good, active cooperation during classes. My marks for this are really bad because I never raise my hand (...although I'm shy >.>). Then I need to spend more time on homework, do them properly and deep. And definitely more sleep, less procrastinating.
Motivation's there, I just need to fight my laziness. FIGHT!!
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